I hate night time

I hate night time because it makes you think
Think of what you've done
Think of whether you've made the right choice
Think of what the outcome will be if it was otherwise

Night time just makes one emo
Well, it used to be nice and sweet but no more
Poof
Night is now an escape for me, escape from this world
When the sun rise and shine brightly on me, i dread
I still want to sleep and sleep and run around happily in my land of no worries

I'm confused

Am I who I am years back?
Have I changed for the better or the worst?
I would think it's the latter.

I've lost what I called Life.
I've lost happiness or simply cheerfulness
What's wrong with me, I know not.
I'm becoming weaker, more drawn back,
less approachable, and I'm just living each day routinely.

I'm a confused kid and mentally malfunctioning.
I may need to see a psychiatrist soon to tune me back to reality.
Or maybe it is just me.

Chrysanthemum tea, green tea, ice lemon tea?
I know not which to choose.
KFC, Carl's Junior, Macdonald's?
You decide.
Nice shorts? No?
Alright. I won't buy.
I'm easily influenced, I'm indecisive and I'm too dependent.
I've lost my own opinion, lost my confidence and my sense of self and importance.
Most of the time I prefer to be hiding in one corner or be transparent to people.
If only I possess the power of being invisible, life would be great.

If I die, would anyone notice that I'm missing?
.
.
.
.
.
Would you?

Update on my life!!

Hi to all avid readers!! I'm back to crap!! Though i try hard to avoid blogging all about my life since it will bore you, but this is my blog; my personal open diary, so bare with me for a little while!!

Right now, this week is a crucial week for me. Not that i am under any critical medical condition but it's the week that everyone (me) will receive their local university's letters regarding their application outcome. My current status is that i am being accepted into SMU's social science school, gotten my rejection letter from NTU and haven't heard from NUS yet. Today, i just went down to NTU to hand them my supporting documents for my appeal and hopefully i'll get pass the administration office filtering session!! I just hope NUS could be a little more efficient as the interminable wait is really killing me!! Checking NUS website is like an everyday routine for me. I checked it the moment i wake up and again whenever i'm about to hit the bed.

So peeps, just pray for me!!! Really hope that i could get into economics because it is my passion and i really can't imagine a life in university studying other arts subjects such as language or sociology!! I had enough of remember names after names and writing long essays!! I'm sure to be at a disadvantage since i don't possess a strong grasp of language and i can't write essays very fluently and with flowery language!! So if i really can't get econs, i really don't know what to do!! I'm glad that NUS FASS is a general degree that does not focus on which course you want to take in the first year!!! Please please let me in!!

Moving on, my dearest baby had fallen ill and is still not well yet!!! I have tried all means to make him feel better such as googling and reading tons and tons of information on the internet regarding grass eating and bloated stomach!! I got more worried when the websites claim that bloated stomach is the seond killer after the first which is cancer. It would have caused a bomb if i brought harry to the vet as the doctor will need to insert a tube into his tummy and extract the excess air and if his stomach is twisted, he needs to go for a surgery to straighten it!! =( Moreover, I don't want him to go through all that and thus I seek help from Mr. Google. I typed 'home remedies for bloated stomach in dogs' and read through all the websites again, well most of it!! Seriously, i think i am suffering from internet hypochodriac. Don't know what that means? Try Googling!! (See.. i'm hopeless!!) Everything that i do not have answers to, i will Google it. Maybe i will die w/o google but by googling i really get to know what is wrong and it gives me relief as i will have a better control over it!! Knowledge overcomes fear!!

brb

Sociology lectures

I quite enjoy sociology and might consider taking it as one module when i am able to (pray hard) secure a place in NUS. It's currently SIM's intensive revision period. Hence, lectures from the UK came down to lecture us. I love attending lectures by Britain lecturers as they speak clearly, fluently and they are very humorous. They know how to keep the class going and they know when to be humorous. It makes the lectures interesting and allows us to sustain through the 7 hrs lecture. One thing i find different about sociologists is that they do not follow rules and they go by their own experiences. For instance, my first socio workshop was by Steve Taylor. He believes that we should have a short break every half an hour or so. He gives us 5 to 10 mins break to go to the washroom and even asked us to text our friends or just chat with them. He believes that the student's attention span will decrease after 30 mins or so. Hence, the break. On the other hand, my second socio workshop was by Gosling Rosemary. She believes that students are more alert in the morning as opposed to the afternoon. Hence, she gave us only one break from 10-1pm and more during the afternoon. Though SIM gave them each instructions as to when we should take a break, they screw it and used their own methods.

The lectures are also interesting partly because they tell stories and site examples that are hilarious yet set us thinking. I'll list some examples below...

The Mas Salamat Story

When Gosling came to Singapore, she decided to get a better understanding of the current whereabouts of Mas Salamat. So she said that the best way was to ask taxi drivers, probably because they are often talkative and they seem to know alot but not all are true...

Taxi 1:
G:"Sir, i've heard a lot about Mas Salamat and i'm just curious about his whereabouts now. "
D:"Oh, everyone knows that he have escaped to Indonesia. There'e no way the authorities could find him. It's been so long. "

Taxi 2:
G: "Sir, i've heard a lot about Mas Salamat and that he is currently at Indonesia? Is that true?"
D: "Indonesia? No way, he is still in jail. "
G:"In jail? I thought there were news and posters everywhere looking for him? How can he still be in jail?"
D: "haha.. the authorities are just trying to strengthen our borders, raise awareness and create tighter security in the shortest time. The Mas Salamat escape is all fake. Singapore's security is so tight and it makes no sense that he could escape through the toilet. Nonsense."

Taxi 3
G:"Sir, i've heard a lot about Mas Salamat. Is he in Indonesia now or still in prison?"
D: "Oh all those stories you heard are not true. The truth is that he is dead!!!"
G: "Dead? What do you mean he is dead?"
D: "The authorities must've tortured him till he died in prison and they are afraid to let the public know because it'll just ruin its reputation. So, they faked that Mas Salamat escaped!!"

Taxi 4
G:"Sir, i've heard a lot about Mas Salamat and i'm just curious about his whereabouts now. "
D:"Oh, he has escaped from Singapore. Most probably in Indonesia. But i don't see how he could have easily escaped from Singapore's tight security checks and all. So, i'm guessing the authorities let him escape on purpose. They had probably implant a detector so they'll be able to catch the rest of the terrorist. "
G: "Now that make quite some sense"

Don't you think it's hilarious as to how they taxi drivers each got their own version of Mas Salamat whereabouts? Oh and i must say i added some extra comments in the dialogue because i couldn't remember all of them. haha.. But the story line is somewhat in that way. So which one do you think is true? I personally think what Taxi driver 3 said was true. I mean, how can Singapore's security be that lousy in that he could not only escape from the toilet, but also from the compound and from Singapore. It makes no sense. Moreover, he is limping??!! Thus, I'll most likely believe that he had died due to the torture inflicted onto him. They are just hiding the truth and escaping. Hoping that this issue will be forgotten soon which it is going to be soon.

Globalisation in terms of the airport and communication via the internet

Globalisation had made travelling so much easier. Now, people could travel anytime and anywhere with little documents needed. Last time, if you want to travel from UK to Singapore, you need at least 3 months of preparation. Most of the time goes into the preparation of documents and data, and the time needed to process it. Phew, don't you think we're lucky to live in the 21st century. =D

Technology has also became so advanced that we could send our message across to anyone at anytime and anywhere too. It also allows us to be able to get a speedy reply. Though it may be good, it had hasten our life. We're now expected to read our email daily and they expect a speedy reply too. Furthermore, there are vast ways of communications tools which caused many people to criticize that it had caused the younger generation o be less vocal and less able to express themselves in public. However, research has also shown that it had improved individual's level of communication skills. So, it pretty much works both ways.

Oh, one majot mistakes that students do and many journalists does is that they often say"Globalisation caused the financial crisis etc" but globalisation is a thing, it cannot cause anything. It is the process of globalisation that does.

to be continued... sleepy again.. =x

The ugly side of human beings

I got out of my little shell and to my horror, i saw the one side of human behaviour that irks me and disturbed me, but sets me thinking.

Instance 1--At the food court
I was eating my dinner with my family and there's this guy who just began eating but unfortunately, he dropped his Chicken drum stick. I felt a tinge of pity for him as that was the main dish but i changed my mind because later he suddenly got up and moved to another table, leaving the unsightly mess there. Those people sitting at the next table felt disgusted and was gossiping amongst themselves. I can understand why they felt that way. Later, they got up to buy their food and left their grandma at the table so the seats will not be taken by others. That is perfectly normal. However, if you zoom out from the focus of the grandma image, you see a table with 4 packets of tissues, lined in a rather neat way that is placed in front of every seat. I mean arghhh.. I don't know why but i hate seeing tissues lying around like that. Much less with a person stationed there. It just gets my agitated. From this instances, i see the kaisu-ness in people and the utter inconsideration.

Instance 2--In the bus
Let me ask you a question, have you sat beside someone but when there was another empty seat, you decided to change seat? I think this is not a very nice thing to do as the one sitting beside you previously might think of reasons that had caused you to changed seats and these reasons often involved them. They might think if they stink, had bad breath or is disturbing you someway or another. But of cos, some people moved because of sunlight heating them up, the cold aircon or simply the comfort level. The one that irks me is when people moved because they are sitting beside someone of different race. I see it everywhere and sometimes i'm guilty of it too because i just can't take the unique odour that they emit. Well, i tried to withstand it but sometimes you know.

i feeling tired.. to be continued...

to be continued....

Just a bubble hanging above my head

Like most people, i think about random stuff minutes before i surrender to the zzz monster.
Last night, i suddenly had the urge to head down to escape theme park. I miss the thrills and the heart drop rides. The only 2 rides that i feared most would be the water slide and viking. Yes, i said viking!! I know that is noob shit to everyone and most people think it's like sitting on a huge see-saw, but to me, my heart always drop whenever it swings down!!! =/ I hate rides that gives me a feeling of sudden drop, like my heart is still up there somewhere but i'm down already.

Anyway, it then led me to think why do people like to create roller coasters and rides that are near vertical, hangs you above the sea or lets you see the world below you? Is it the degree of thrill or are they trying to show people how fearful and scary it is to jump off from somewhere high? Are they trying to prevent suicide or the other way round?

Seriously, what do most people think of when they are sitting or standing at the edge of a tall building, attempting to commit suicide? Do they think about the reasons why they want to end their lives? Or think about their friends and family? That should probably be the first stage. I reckon the second stage would be the fear, and then those who have not sat on roller coaster that drops you down vertically will most probably take a step back eventually. As for those who had, they might think that hey, it's simply roller coaster w/o any seat and seat belt. It'll be hell fun and trilling if you just close your eyes, and of cos those are the ones who will take a step forward. So, think about it when you sit triller rides like these. A word of caution is not to sit too often as you might get use to it and when it comes to a point in time where suicide seems to be the best solution, you would take a step forward. Also, beware and show more concern to those that do not fear such rides; those who dare to raise their hands up high. They may look like a hero within that few seconds but they may disappear anytime if not enough love, care and concern is showered upon them.

That said, all the above points are just a penny of my thought. No references made and no particular hidden message. Just getting my neurons connected after i studied a night on sociology. I shall then end with a quote!! Peter Berger said that a sociologist should "see the general in the particular" and "see the strange in the familiar". I particularly loved all his quotes. =D