Today, i went shopping for TY's present at parkway for about an hour and was suppose to eat lunch there. But dar wanted to eat aston's or chai fan at pasir ris instead. So he picked me up at parkway and we decided to eat at aston's!!! I totally miss the herb spice fish!!! =D totally heavenly yummy!! Dear ate grilled chicken and he gobbled up the food like there's no tomorrow as he had not eaten breakfast; considering that our lunch was at 2 plus. We chatted the whole day about everything and anything.. =D and thanks for the treat dar dar!!!
I wished the instances above had happened but i'm afraid it's very much the reverse.
He picked me up at parkway and i gave him a rather sleepish, heck care and whatever attitude cause i was angry that he didn't accompany me to shop, though i was the one who decided that he should stay in school to do his work as that would be more productive. But, i truly wanted him to accompany me too. Who wants to be lonely?? Plus, the last few days, he had been busy with his game design, projects, games, school and friends that i hardly had a long conversation with him on the phone and on msn. Most of the time he sleeps late and does not msg me goodnight which we always do. We hardly talk on msn and he doesn't msg me anymore though i said "message me if you miss me".
i was frustrated and angry (maybe i was pmsing) for the past 2 days or so. Whenever we meet, he'll get pissed off looking at my ugly attitude. Today, i had probably gone over his limit. So, the event went by as he picked me up from parkway, we talked a lil about lunch which i asked him to decide in a very heck care tone. We gave each other cold shoulders and despite me lying on his lap, he drove me back to my house. I was confused and asked him to drive to somewhere so we could eat. I insisted that we eat lunch tgt since he said he was hungry. After much argument, he drove me to my house's hawker centre and asked me to leave. I hesitated for a moment and left because he stopped at the bus lane. Fine, i slapped the door and started walking, walking, walking to god knows where under the hot scorching sun with a sweater on. I was frustrated, boiling and pissed off. How can a guy just dump me on the streets like that!!!
But after much mind talking to myself, i realised that it was my fault. I always irritate him despite the fact that he was feeling tired and hungry due to late night sleeps and project work in the morning.
I'm sorry dear, and i hope you'll forgive me soon but i still think we should still take a break. Maybe a one week break from each other to cool things down.
I'm sorry.............
Monday, March 23, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Just wanted to let you know my feelings.
Here's what's going on for me the entire week, just in case you forgot what I told you. I've been having project meetings till wee hours and shitloads of school work. And also my game designs that I'm trying to build up my portfolio with.
Let me present to you the contradiction. I remember very clearly that I was being told by one of your friends, if not more, that you need personal space, that I am petty, I need to let you live your own life, yadayada. But look what you are doing to me the entire week. Today for instance, I missed 1 sms from you just because I was doing my stupid project and you started hallucinating about me neglecting you. I have been trying to work hard this semester simply because I messed up the last one, and I'm doing up my game design portfolio so that I can apply for a good internship. Instead of encouragements like I would give to you, you sulk and whine and flinch at the slightest taste of loneliness. Instead of having quality time together, you had to keep hurling rhetorical complaints at me and showing me attitude. I'm really really very tired this whole week and I've been trying to put up with your sulky face, but I'm sorry I couldn't handle it today.
I'm not even asking you to give me personal space or stop being petty or whatever I have been accused of, I'm just asking you to show me some encouragements and support for the shit that I have to do. Of course I could always throw my education aside again and serve you like the princess you always are. But then I'll be accused again so this is really just a vicious cycle until you sort out what you really want.
I'm human too okay. I can't cope with serving Your Highness' loneliness, being accused by your friend of being petty when I am lonely, and having to study and work ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
You keep saying we should take a week break whenever we quarrel. So what, am I supposed to be there for you only when you're lonely, and leave you to your own personal space when you're not? I think that's the job of a social escort, not a relationship.
By the way, as much as I want to accompany you for shopping or meals or spend idle time together today, I wanted to do my game design in school because my senior was there and I was asking him how to solve some coding problems. It's not that I don't love you as much as before or I'm purposely neglecting you or that I'm not interested in shopping with you okay. You just jump to conclusions and show me the same attitude for the entire week.
It would have been so different if you had even welcomed me with a hearty greeting when I picked you up from parkway. Instead, after traveling over all the way from school and an entire morning of project + work, I get to see someone who seem uninterested and unresponsive to me. At least taxi drivers get paid.
When you are down and needed help with studies, I was there for you. Now that I need some support and understanding, can I at least have some? I'm not even asking you to drive me around or bring me food everyday, all I want is to see a cheerful gf who morally supports me after a hard day's work. Please tell me you're not selfish enough to deprive me that.
Post a Comment