A new blog, a new life!!

Yes, a new life!! I've finally crossed the long bridge that had hindered my goal upon the paper chase. I've done what many people would never dare to do, took a risk by gambling my life and money. If you're a stranger reading this, let me explain to you. In year 2007, i did terribly for my A levels which i had much expected. But it is rather weird as i felt that i had studied a great deal for the big exam. Well, i studied with my friends at mac though and maybe that was the reason behind the lousy grades. I can now safely say that i'm the kind of person whom will be most productive when i'm alone. So, when i saw my lousy result slip, i just blanked out and cried. A myriad of reasons encompass my emotions.

For one, I came from a Normal Academic background during my secondary school days but i fought hard and i wanted to get into an express class during my transition from secondary 2 to 3. However, i did not fulfill the criteria, but, i did not resign to my fate of being defined as a hopeless bunch of students who only knew how to create trouble.( a stereotype people imprinted on students in NA and NT). I fought hard and finally achieved excellent grades for my O level exam which opened new doors of opportunity, a new route with better and nicer concrete walkway. Of course i went for the better path and landed in TJC. I loved the school and the people i mixed around with but i realized that i was not the same as them. Not only in terms of age but in terms of the level of intelligence and capability. Moreover, i do not possess a strong grasp of language and thus, it was to my disadvantage as i am studying an arts course (which i do not have a choice). Thus, i was struggling with people who came from elite schools. I felt that i could not blend in at first and teachers look down on me. (maybe due to my inferiority complex) That had caused me to lose my fighting spirit as i felt i could not compete with them as i'll always be cushioning them to better grades.

After receiving my A levels certificate, i decided to resign to my fate and was enrolled into SIM. However, i reconsidered and i'm not contented just being in SIM. I'm not saying that i condemn the school but everyone aim to climb a step higher if they could right? Thus, at the same time i decided to enroll as a private student and retook my A levels in 2008.

So, i became a full time mugger and hired a few tutors to get the ball rolling. I'm glad i did get tutors or i'll probably lose interest in my studies as i've studied it before!! Indeed, there were times i got exhausted and worn out and sick of people telling me to study whenever they see me relaxing!!! But i overcome all forms of stormy waters with the help of my unique float; my wonderful boyfriend that i had met in the early months of last year.

He gave me the strength to continue, encourage me when i was down, fedex over bubbletea and food to my door step when i told him that i decided to study till the wee hours, sent me to serangoon every week for my econs tuition, pop by once in awhile to surprise me, take me out to the beach to relax and simply stayed by my side to accompany me when i was stress. He tolerated my temper, my sudden mood swings, my unreasonable arguments and my selfish attitude. After all these months, he taught me a lot of life values which i cherished but often forgot to act it out. One of them was to "never take someone for granted" which i've always do. I vent my anger and frustration on him, did not consider that he needed to study as well, always wanted him to be by my side when i needed him but i always seem to disappear whenever he needed me. Nonetheless, i am really grateful that he still loves me so deep despite all the unhappy events which he should not be going through.

Xelrr, i just want to say a big THANK YOU to you!! You must have been an angel sent by god to protect me and give me strength to move on. I love you!!! Always have and always will even though we argue and i tend to be unreasonable most of the time.

Finally, time flew by and it was time for me to take my first A level paper!! I was scared, i was nervous but my dar probably knew how i felt and made an effort to wake up at 6am to pick me up from home and send me to TPJC!! Not only for the first paper but for every other paper and he sent me back home too. Sometimes, he gets so exhausted that he skipped school for sleep and i felt sad but am grateful for the things he did. I've never really told him how i felt, never really thank him for all that he had done other than treating him to dinner etc. maybe i'll write it down here and hopefully he'll read it and i know he will.

Dar,
I know that ever since you met me, you life had changed quite drastically. Of course there were times of joy, times where we lovey dovey and electrify each other (tingling feeling) but most of the times were stormy and bleak. You had to go through the high barriers set by my family and friends which you had never experienced before since i'm your first and only gf. Moreover, your results dropped drastically as you selflessly devoted your time for me. i really appreciate it and am feeling ashamed at how i treated you all these while. I'm really sorry for everything and i seek your utmost forgiveness. Once again, thank you baby, I REALLY LOVE YOU....

Anyway, time flies again to the stage where the A level's results was to be released!! I was hell scared that i even dreamt about taking exams and receiving results for 3 consecutive days!!! Even before looking at the results, i broke down and cried. But thankfully my dear was there for me again!!! =D He made me felt better by laughing at me!!! (ROAR) So i finally got the courage to log on to the seab website. I decided to view my results bit by bit as i was not confident of passing my lit and GP. =( So firstly, i saw a FAT E for my GP (sigh), then i saw a Donkey D for my math (sigh again), then finally i saw a C for my literature!! (hurray), moving on a B for my Geo (hurray again) and an A for my econs (woopeeee)... I was so happy that i screamed and teared again, hugged my dear and dance around like a lil kid who had just received a huge lollipop!! hehe..

So that's that, my risk was worth it but everyone said that i had wasted money on SIM. But if i failed, they would've said "luckily she enrolled into SIM so she doesn't have to waste one year". Presenting to you a weird species called "humans"...

Hurray again!!!!! Life has just changed for me, for the better i hope!! I definitely don't want to be cushioning people again so i'm not going to try business (i have lil chance to get in anyway) and opt for Economics as my first choice!! Wish me luck peeps!!!